I Was a HalfDemon
by myfairjuliet
Summary: UPDATED! The story of Inuyasha and Kikyo, please check it out. I've updated the ending for those of you who requested it.


Disclaimer: You all know this, but I don't own Inuyasha.

I was a half-demon.

I was used to being ignored, to living on my own. The demon side of me wished me to be wild and free. But somewhere inside me, the human half wished for someone to love, and a place to live. That wish was smothered by demon blood for a long time.

I was fifteen when I first heard of the Shikon no Tama. It was supposed to be a miracle jewel. It could grant any wish, make any ambition come true. Well, that sounded right up my alley. Whether it was my demon blood searching for a way to get rid of my human half, or my human half searching for an opportunity, I don't know. What I do know is that I wanted this miracle jewel for myself.

I had to find it. I had to have that jewel.

I had heard it was in the hands of a miko. She sounded like a joke. They said she was beautiful, young, mature. That no man who passed by her could take his eyes off her. They said she was pure, perfect. I said she was weak.

She sounded too young, too pure. I could take her on.

I eventually found the village she lived in. But I didn't attack at first. I watched her for a few days in the beginning. This "young miko" ended up to be more than I thought she was.

The entire village loved her. She played with the children and taught them about common herbs. Older villagers addressed her as a respectful adult, not an 18-year-old broad.

This "Kikyo" was kind and gentle to humans, but she had no mercy toward demons. I wondered how she would act around me, one who was half-human, half-demon.

At the time, I saw her as nothing but an obstacle. Something that was in my way to becoming a full demon. But she eventually became more.

It was during her purification ceremony that I first attempted to steal the jewel. I followed her for the entire day, waiting for a chance to attack and steal the Shikon no Tama.

I followed her as she left the village alone. I followed her to the waterfall and the river that ran nearby. She discarded her robes, though thankfully there was a sacred white kimono underneath her miko garb.

She stepped under the flow of the waterfall and crouched there, her hands together and her eyes closed. Now was my chance. The jewel was left in the clothing she had taken off. She was completely vulnerable.

I eyed her carefully before coming out of hiding. I didn't trust her, and I certainly didn't want to be caught on my first attempt. Even as I moved toward the jewel she didn't seem to notice. She kept kneeling there, eyes closed.

I smirked. She hadn't been anything to worry about after all. In a quick motion, I reached for the jewel.

"Stop!"

I turned in alarm to see the miko now standing under the flow, her eyes open and her hands tense. _Damn, _I thought. She was good after all.

She moved toward me and began to reach for her bow and arrows that lay on a nearby rock. I had my claws at the ready. It would be nothing to tear her apart. A simple task.

She grabbed her weapon and pulled the arrow back so the string was taut. "Leave, demon." She commanded. I cracked my knuckles. "Yeah right, wench, like that's gonna happen."

Her face was like stone as she drew her arrow back farther. Then, she released it.

To tell the truth, I had doubted she would actually attack me. In my opinion, I looked pretty fierce standing there. But she didn't seem intimidated.

I didn't flinch as the arrow neared me. I didn't even flinch as it pierced my kimono.

"Ha!" I laughed. "You didn't even strike me!" The priestess didn't pay any attention to me. She dressed and pulled her bow and quiver onto her back. Then, to my surprise, she walked straight up to me and snatched the jewel out of my hands.

"This is mine. Keep your claws off it." She warned. She turned and walked away in the direction of the village.

From then on, I always followed her, just waiting for an opportunity to take the jewel for myself. But it was almost as though she had a sixth sense. Whenever I made my move, she was always there, stopping me.

But she never delivered the final blow.

"Why don't you just kill me?!" I shouted scornfully once, pinned to a tree by the arrows in my kimono.

Kikyo turned calmly, frowning as if I were a mere annoyance. "Get out of here." She commanded. "You're a waste of arrows."

Her comments really knew how to hit the mark, even if her arrows didn't. What she said made my blood boil. _A waste of arrows? _

It went on for what seemed like years, but could only have been weeks. Every time, it was the same. I was always caught and ended up pinned to a tree. Then she would deliver a comment that made me so angry I wanted to kill her right then and there.

But I didn't.

Something held me back.

It wasn't her beauty, her cleverness, her purity. It was…something else. Something that…ran deeper than what I saw on the outside. But I still couldn't figure it out.

Then, one day, I finally got her alone. She seemed not to notice me as I stared from the foliage surrounding her. She only sat in the field, the wind gently blowing her hair to one side. I was about to strike when—

"Inuyasha, come out. I know you're there."

Reluctantly, I came out of hiding. I sat beside her, though a few feet away of course. Who knew what schemes were behind that sickly sweet face? We sat in silence for a few moments. I was watching her suspiciously, but she showed no sign of distrust.

"This is the first time we've sat so close together, like this." Kikyo remarked.

"Yeah, what of it?" I shot back. What was she planning?

There was another silence. I glanced over at Kikyo. She was smiling softly.

"What do you see me as?" She asked.

"What?! What are you talking about, wench?" I exclaimed.

"I'm only a woman, but I have to be more. If I show one moment of weakness, the demons will take me." Kikyo looked sad, but she was still smiling that strange, soft smile.

"I believe we're alike, Inuyasha." She turned to me. "That we never fit in, always trying to be more than we are, never succeeding. That's why I haven't been able to kill you."

I tried to move away from her. What was she saying?

"F…feh. I think you're wrong!" I spat. But I was starting to get uncomfortable.

Then, Kikyo turned to me. "Maybe you're right."

She looked so sad, so vulnerable, like nothing I had ever seen her like before. Her smile had

become more of a melancholy grimace and she looked so pale so…wilted. Like a flower out in the

sun too long.

_Who am I kidding? _I thought, trying to shake the thoughts from my mind. _This is Kikyo we're talking _

_about. This must be some scheme to make me let my guard down. _

But even I couldn't convince myself.

"Feh!" I said, getting up and brushing myself off. "I don't care what you think. We are nothing alike!

Nothing about us is similar!" Then I left her, much against my human instinct. More than ever it was

Calling to me now.

That night, I tried to fall asleep. But nothing would make me relax. She was on my mind the entire night. I stared at the moon and saw her face. That sad, wilting expression haunted me the whole night.

In the morning, I still couldn't stop thinking of her.

I went down to the village and watched her from a nearby tree as she played with the children of the village. I know she could sense me. When I first arrived, I saw her stiffen and stop smiling. I know she knew it was me.

But she went on playing with the kids. Maybe it was my imagination, but I think she looked happier after that.

From then on, I was by her side everyday. And she always knew.

We had a sort of understanding. If she knew I was nearby, I could see her stiffen. After that, she had a way of smiling through her work, or laughing more often at the children's pranks.

And I was always by her side.

Hidden, of course, but she knew I was there. As I said before, she always seemed to have a 6th sense.

Not long after, we were to be joined together for eternity.

I don't really know how it happened. I don't really know who decided it, or who proposed the idea. But it was a sort of agreement, an unspoken agreement that she and I would accept our humanity—together.

"With this jewel, you can become human, Inuyasha." She told me, holding the jewel toward me. "No more fighting yourself, no more being an outcast. We could be happy." Her smile was eager.

"And…and what about you?" I asked. "What would become of you?" Kikyo's smile grew wider. I had never seen her smile like that before.

"I would become a regular woman. Kaede would take my place as priestess. Think, Inuyasha. We could be happy."

Kikyo looked so pleased. I felt the corners of my mouth twitch for a moment. "Happy." I pondered this idea.

Kikyo leaned in toward me, still smiling, and I leaned toward her. She closed her eyes, her smile fading into a look I had never seen before. I leaned in closer toward her, and I could feel her whispery breath on my chin. Then I froze.

Just beyond Kikyo's shoulder, half-hidden behind a tree, I could see a little girl watching us, wide-eyed. _Damn, _I cursed, quickly pushing Kikyo away from me. It was Kaede, Kikyo's little brat of a sister. Startled, Kikyo opened her eyes.

I pointed to Kaede, still watching us, and she turned to look at her little sister. When she turned back around to face me, she was expressionless. Then, she did something I didn't expect.

"I-I love you." She whispered. I thought I saw a glimpse of a tear in her eye.

Then she turned around, and walked toward Kaede. By the time she turned around to look at me, I was gone.

I remember feeling so strange that day, after leaving her to retreat to my forest. I felt almost like I was floating, like wings were carrying me into the sky. It took me a second to realize that I was feeling happiness.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day our lives would change forever. Our future together was so close I could taste it on the night air.

I didn't sleep at all that night. I could hear wolves howling long into the darkness, and I longed to sing with them, to sing of the joy that was filling my heart.

The next morning, I practically flew to our meeting spot. I couldn't wait. My heart jumped with every sound, every smell, thinking it was Kikyo. I sniffed the air constantly, straining to smell that unmistakably scent. Kikyo's scent…

Time dragged by, and still she didn't come. I grew worried. We had never specified a time or place. What if she had changed her mind? What if something had happened? What if it was all a trap?

I continued to wait, but I was becoming more and more concerned. _Any minute now, _I thought. _Any minute now she'll come right up that path, with the jewel in her hand…_

Still she didn't come.

I heard a noise. It had come from the trees to my right. Excited, I turned. And there was Kikyo. But how come I hadn't sensed her?

Then, before I knew what was happening…

"DIE, INUYASHA!"

She shot an arrow at me. Then two, then three. Somehow I managed to dodge them all.

She had betrayed me! It had all been a trap!

I thought of last night. Of how she had made me feel…

"You betrayed me, Kikyo?!" I shouted bitterly. Bitter for all the happiness I had felt about her. Bitter for all the humiliation she had put me through. Bitter because she had broken my heart.

But did I ever really love her?

_No, _I thought. _I never did._

I quickly dodged the last of her arrows. When she had run out, I showed her my claws. "How would you like to feel these on your skin, wench?!" I yelled, leaping for her. And what did she do? She turned tail and ran.

I smirked. I may not be able to kill her now, but I wouldn't be robbed of my revenge.

I leapt through the trees, headed for the village. Now I know how stupid this idea was, but at the time, the betrayal was a fresh cut on my heart.

As I neared the village, everyone could see me coming. Women screamed, children ran, and those foolish men attempted to fight me. The village was in flames in minutes.

And the Jewel. That jewel that had caused me to hope. It was in my hands before I knew what was happening.

"Ha." I laughed to myself. "Kikyo wasn't smart enough to take the jewel with me. Arrogant bitch."

I raised the jewel high above my head, shouting so loud I hoped even Kikyo could hear me.

"THIS IS ONLY WHAT YOU DESERVE!!" I screamed. "AND I DESERVE THE SHIKON NO TAMA!!"

_Finally, I can become a full demon, _I thought. Kikyo may have thrown me off track for a while, but now I had what I wanted. And then…

Pain.

Agonizing pain.

The arrow was a direct hit, exactly where my heart beat. It might not have been so painful if Kikyo hadn't been the one to release it.

I was in so much pain, it didn't even register in my mind that she was injured. Badly injured.

"Kikyo…" I whispered. _I'm sorry. _"It wasn't supposed to be like this…" I was to the point of begging, but she couldn't hear me.

_I guess she never loved me, it was all a scam, it was all bullshit, bullshit._

_  
Damn, I never got to kiss her. _

Fade to black.

A/N: So, I wrote this a while ago, but now I've edited the ending. I wasn't happy with it, readers weren't happy with it. So I attempted to improve it. I really wanted to show how sad Kikyo and Inuyasha were. A lot of people think Kikyo's just plain evil, but she really is not at all. And Inuyasha, too, is often misjudged. Anyway, I really wanted to make it seem like it was actually Inuyasha writing the story.

And just so you all know, I'm not an Inuyasha and Kikyo fan, I actually prefer the relationship between Kagome and Inuyasha (in the manga anyway).

Also, one last thing. At one point, Inuyasha says the village catches on fire. It's cut out of the anime, but in the manga, the village is on fire when Inuyasha steals the Shikon no Tama. Please review and be HONEST! Thank you so much!


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